<![CDATA[Melissa Rutherford coaching, Inc. - Blog]]>Tue, 20 Jan 2026 01:23:03 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[How To Get Started - Activation]]>Mon, 23 Sep 2024 20:24:15 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/how-to-get-started-activationPicture
  • Identify the reason you would choose to do the task.  What is the reward? Why are you going to do this task right now?
  • Make sure you know how to do the task & have everything you need to start. Ex: gathering all your documents in one place.  Doing all the upfront preparation work will help you start on the primary task.
  • A warm-up routine can help put you in the right mindset & get you physical closer to starting the task.  James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, suggests these steps.
    1. The first step should be so easy that there is virtually zero chance of not doing it.  Maybe it's getting your coffee & opening up your computer.
    2. Make sure you include physical movement, as well. Even if you do all your work at the same desk, you could start by getting up to get coffee, for example, & then return to your desk.
    3. Do your routine the same each time.  If you get coffee in the white cup, don't use a green one next time.  After a while, this habit will be the cue that, this is what I do before I...... Then you will rely less on will power.  And you will be pulled by your warm up routine to start on your primary goal.  
    4. Rinse & Repeat!
  • You also may find it useful to have an accountability partner. It may be enough to tell someone your intentions & then check in with them at agreed-upon times.  Or you may need more real-time accountability by working with others. You can do this in person, virtually with accountability partners you know, or use a service like Focusmate.
]]><![CDATA[Find Your Cheerleader To Life You Up!]]>Mon, 18 Sep 2023 16:20:21 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/find-your-cheerleader-to-life-you-up
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One incredibly important tool that I have seen work, based on how ADHD individuals think, feel, live & work is to find a cheerleader ( it may be a friend, parent, grandparent, spouse,  therapist or coach).

The key to being successful and happy is to find your own cheerleader who unwaveringly believes you are good, intelligent & loving.  A cheerleader's chief job is to distinguish between your worth and your achievements.  To hold belief in you, even when you find it difficult to believe in yourself.

You will know you have found the right cheerleader when this person unshakeable lifts you up!


]]><![CDATA[How does one's vision shift from being a dream, to reaching  your full potential?]]>Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:47:24 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/how-does-ones-vision-shift-from-being-a-dream-to-reaching-your-full-potentialReaching ones "Full Potential" often involves vision, passion, priorities & drive.  A coaching conversation can contribute a shift from dreams into action and action into success!
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]]><![CDATA[First, REFLECT, & Then Look Ahead!]]>Tue, 25 Feb 2020 22:53:49 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/first-reflect-then-look-ahead
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LOOK AHEAD & UNDERSTAND What You Truly Want & Why:
  1. What do you YEARN for? What, more than anything, do you want this year?
  2. What goals would really put a SMILE on your face? What would have leave you FEELING MAGNIFICENT about yourself?
]]><![CDATA[Great goals are stated in the POSITIVE: Why?]]>Mon, 13 Jan 2020 22:09:22 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/great-goals-are-stated-in-the-positive-whyPicture
Because we get what we focus on! 
Whenever we say "I want to stop procrastinating" our brain has to first build a picture of what we DON'T want - being unproductive - in order not to do it. So it's good to build a picture of what we're working towards, rather than building a picture of what we don't want.
               Two examples:
  •       Use "I have ideas for a new career" rather than "I don't want to be stuck in the same job forever"
  •       Use "I want to create an interesting new hobby " rather than "I don't like being on screen time so much"
]]><![CDATA[How does Life Coaching explore challenges & make meaningful change?]]>Mon, 07 Oct 2019 20:34:09 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/how-does-life-coaching-explore-challenges-make-meaningful-change
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One way is through meaningful questions:
  •  What happened?
  • How do you feel about it?
  • What was important about it to you?
  • How has it affected you?
  • What might you do differently now?
  • How will you know you have been successful?
]]><![CDATA[Do you want to be a beautiful person?]]>Wed, 04 Sep 2019 22:57:27 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/do-you-want-to-be-a-beautiful-personPicture
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, & have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, & an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen."      Elisabeth Kubler Ross
]]><![CDATA[Will you take the courageous path - or the easy one?]]>Wed, 07 Aug 2019 19:46:51 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/will-you-take-the-courageous-path-or-the-easy-oneLiving an authentic, vibrant and meaningful life is more than fun, it can be thrilling! My life coaching mission & work is all about helping you smoothly create & take your own courageous path!  If you would like help finding this new direction, please feel free to join me in my office or on the phone for a coaching conversation. (918) 391-2540    All my best, Melissa

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]]><![CDATA[Button Exercise to Reduce Stress & Anxiety]]>Mon, 03 Jun 2019 21:58:07 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/button-exercise-to-reduce-stress-anxiety
  •  First: Let yourself feel the anxious/stressful feeling.  
  • Where is this feeling in your body?  
  • What does it feel like?  
  • Now put an imaginary button on the area where you feel that anxiety/stress in your body; turn down the imaginary button to make the feeling decrease. 
  •  How does it feel? 
Now you are taking control of your stress/anxiety and you are lowering it!
  • Next take the button and turn it up slowly to increase the stress. (To show yourself, you’re in control). 
  •  Lastly, turn the button again to lower that stress/anxiety in your body ( notice how you feel, much better)
  •  By getting out of your head and into your body you get to be in control of your negative thoughts & feelings. You are more grounded!  You feel much better! 
]]><![CDATA[What you focus on grows!]]>Thu, 28 Mar 2019 19:13:24 GMThttps://www.melissacoaching.com/blog/what-you-focus-on-growsPicture
When I was a student at the university, a professor repeated many times, "what you focus on grows."    As years have passed, it has become a powerful awareness!  Truth is, wherever your focus is, growth follows!  
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